Who says Irony has no practical applications.
I am so lazy, that I hate checking out the same book twice because I don't want to have to caryy it home again. I am currently taking out books from U of T where I only have 2 weeks to use them rather than an entire term. This laziness, defeats my non-writing laziness as such, my goal for February, have a draft of my context chapter written, thank you U of T for forcing me to work to avoid having to do work.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
5 Stages of Rejection
You worked long and hard crafting the perfect funding application. you spent days...maybe even weeks re-working the sentences, measuring margins and having your ideas ripped to shreds by your peers.
Submitting your application was a weight off your shoulders and resulted in a rediscovery of restful sleep. you probably forgot all about your application until January with a very thin letter appeared in your mailbox. One page letters are never good. "Dear Applicant," you read, "this year we received many excellent applications, however we only had a limited number of blah blah blah." Finally you get to the soul crushing sentence "We regret to inform you..." Let's be honest, they feel no regret.
At this point you will pass through the 5 stages of funding rejection, here is what you can expect.
Stage 1: Anger
In an attempt to put the blame somewhere (other than on yourself for leaving your application tot he last minute), you will imagine the selcetion comittee gleefully tearing up your application for the one misplaced comma or period you did not see until months later. Try to remeber this picture is mostly innaccurate, I have heard the tearing up of applications is done in a very respectful manner. Avoid the urge to indulge your anger. Do NOT get drunk at this stage and make angry phone calls or e-mails to comittee members. Aside from screwing up your chances for next year, it is never easy to work in a department where the professor down the hall has a restraining order against you.
Stage 2: Anger
Your anger will now turn inward. At this stage you will ruminate over your faults and the shortcomings of your application. You will question your worth and future as an academic. At this stage, a little drinking is reccommended provided you are surrounded by people who have also just received funding letters of death. I suggest while drinking you throw around these vauge phrases of encouragement in an attempt to keep each other from dropping out:
-"Seriously, you're like the smartest person I know"
-"It's all rigged, you just got hosed"
-"It was robably some geographer/chemist/English Prof reading your paper who just didn't get it"
"I thought it was awesome when I read it"
Stage 3: Anger
At this stage your anger will turn back outward and be more vaguely directed at "the system", "the instiution" or (For Philosophy students)"the man." Resist fantasies of attempted revenge on system (you are not Brad Pitt/Edward Norton), institution or man and do not try to remove yourself from their sphere of influence. Instead, wait until you are tenured faculty, then write manifestos criticizing the system while you sit protected by the ivory towers comfortable walls.
Stage 4: Dejection
Rejection leads to dejection. By the time you reach this stage, you will likely have let enough work pile up that you can distract yourself from how lousy you feel by busting your ass to meet the deadline you forgot about.
Stage 5: Complacency
This point is only vaguely different than dejection and is reached when after burying yourself in your work you realise that you simply no longer care as you have comps or a thesis defence coming up. This is the graduate students homeostasis unil the next rejection letter. Enjoy your state of emotional coasting interupted by bouts of procrastination where for a short moment, you might feel something non-graduate students call...well, they don't really calll it anything, they are just thankful they aren't in school anymore and that they won't receive any more rejection letters!
Submitting your application was a weight off your shoulders and resulted in a rediscovery of restful sleep. you probably forgot all about your application until January with a very thin letter appeared in your mailbox. One page letters are never good. "Dear Applicant," you read, "this year we received many excellent applications, however we only had a limited number of blah blah blah." Finally you get to the soul crushing sentence "We regret to inform you..." Let's be honest, they feel no regret.
At this point you will pass through the 5 stages of funding rejection, here is what you can expect.
Stage 1: Anger
In an attempt to put the blame somewhere (other than on yourself for leaving your application tot he last minute), you will imagine the selcetion comittee gleefully tearing up your application for the one misplaced comma or period you did not see until months later. Try to remeber this picture is mostly innaccurate, I have heard the tearing up of applications is done in a very respectful manner. Avoid the urge to indulge your anger. Do NOT get drunk at this stage and make angry phone calls or e-mails to comittee members. Aside from screwing up your chances for next year, it is never easy to work in a department where the professor down the hall has a restraining order against you.
Stage 2: Anger
Your anger will now turn inward. At this stage you will ruminate over your faults and the shortcomings of your application. You will question your worth and future as an academic. At this stage, a little drinking is reccommended provided you are surrounded by people who have also just received funding letters of death. I suggest while drinking you throw around these vauge phrases of encouragement in an attempt to keep each other from dropping out:
-"Seriously, you're like the smartest person I know"
-"It's all rigged, you just got hosed"
-"It was robably some geographer/chemist/English Prof reading your paper who just didn't get it"
"I thought it was awesome when I read it"
Stage 3: Anger
At this stage your anger will turn back outward and be more vaguely directed at "the system", "the instiution" or (For Philosophy students)"the man." Resist fantasies of attempted revenge on system (you are not Brad Pitt/Edward Norton), institution or man and do not try to remove yourself from their sphere of influence. Instead, wait until you are tenured faculty, then write manifestos criticizing the system while you sit protected by the ivory towers comfortable walls.
Stage 4: Dejection
Rejection leads to dejection. By the time you reach this stage, you will likely have let enough work pile up that you can distract yourself from how lousy you feel by busting your ass to meet the deadline you forgot about.
Stage 5: Complacency
This point is only vaguely different than dejection and is reached when after burying yourself in your work you realise that you simply no longer care as you have comps or a thesis defence coming up. This is the graduate students homeostasis unil the next rejection letter. Enjoy your state of emotional coasting interupted by bouts of procrastination where for a short moment, you might feel something non-graduate students call...well, they don't really calll it anything, they are just thankful they aren't in school anymore and that they won't receive any more rejection letters!
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