I am standing on a precipice...a big scary precipice.
The research I have been proposing for two years is about to become reality. I am about to hop in a car/plane/bus digital recorder in hand and actually go out and do research.
Imagine knowing a person exists for two years before you are able to talk to them one on one. it is a little scary, because at this moment, anything could go wrong.
The usual doubts are flying through my head. "what if my data doesn't support my thesis?" "What if all of my contacts fall through."
Well, maybe my blogging will be more interesting when I am on the road. I wouldn't mind a boring trip though, I think I have had enough excitement over the years on various vacations to justify one trip where only minor things go wrong (I apologize in advance to all my fellow travelers if Air Canada goes out of business while I am using their services, it would make airline number three!).
May 10th is the deadline, lets hope I can get my ducks in a row by then and that no one kills them off in the meantime!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Time for some darning
Darn you facebook, you eat up my time as I checkfor my friend's statuts updates, despite not actually having talked to those friends in years. Darn you for your quizzes, games and surveys that I feel compelled to do so people know how cool/sentimental/suave I really am. Darn you for making me think about myself in three lines or less and darn you for keeping the photos of me at that halloween party from so long ago.
Darn you for giving me something else to do other than work on my thesis. Darn you!
Darn you for giving me something else to do other than work on my thesis. Darn you!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Red Tape Math
I am building a theory of math that combines relativity with chaos theory with well, other mathy things that sci-fi shows use to justify bringing people back from the dead.
My newest fact to add to this collection. We have been reading response time lines wrong. When an office says it will take 2-4 weeks to get back to you, it actually means that the office will take 2 to the power of 4 weeks to get back to you (which my calculator tells me is 16 weeks). Likewise, 6-8 weeks is actually way longer than I want to inform you about.
This is why you will get a rejection letter for a scholarship you applied for two years ago.
Please note: this formula does not work when you owe an office at the school money. It only works when there is a chance of you getting money from the school. If you owe the school money the response time is actually simple subtraction. you should pay within 6-8 weeks actually means you should have paid 2 weeks ago, and you are probably incurring late fees/interest which will result in creitors being called in 2-3 days (you have heard from them already haven't you)?
that's all for now, I will add more math tidbits as I learn them, though understand the beaurecratic system is unstable and liable to change anytime a butterfly in China sneezes.
My newest fact to add to this collection. We have been reading response time lines wrong. When an office says it will take 2-4 weeks to get back to you, it actually means that the office will take 2 to the power of 4 weeks to get back to you (which my calculator tells me is 16 weeks). Likewise, 6-8 weeks is actually way longer than I want to inform you about.
This is why you will get a rejection letter for a scholarship you applied for two years ago.
Please note: this formula does not work when you owe an office at the school money. It only works when there is a chance of you getting money from the school. If you owe the school money the response time is actually simple subtraction. you should pay within 6-8 weeks actually means you should have paid 2 weeks ago, and you are probably incurring late fees/interest which will result in creitors being called in 2-3 days (you have heard from them already haven't you)?
that's all for now, I will add more math tidbits as I learn them, though understand the beaurecratic system is unstable and liable to change anytime a butterfly in China sneezes.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Deadline Strategy
Who says Irony has no practical applications.
I am so lazy, that I hate checking out the same book twice because I don't want to have to caryy it home again. I am currently taking out books from U of T where I only have 2 weeks to use them rather than an entire term. This laziness, defeats my non-writing laziness as such, my goal for February, have a draft of my context chapter written, thank you U of T for forcing me to work to avoid having to do work.
I am so lazy, that I hate checking out the same book twice because I don't want to have to caryy it home again. I am currently taking out books from U of T where I only have 2 weeks to use them rather than an entire term. This laziness, defeats my non-writing laziness as such, my goal for February, have a draft of my context chapter written, thank you U of T for forcing me to work to avoid having to do work.
Friday, February 13, 2009
5 Stages of Rejection
You worked long and hard crafting the perfect funding application. you spent days...maybe even weeks re-working the sentences, measuring margins and having your ideas ripped to shreds by your peers.
Submitting your application was a weight off your shoulders and resulted in a rediscovery of restful sleep. you probably forgot all about your application until January with a very thin letter appeared in your mailbox. One page letters are never good. "Dear Applicant," you read, "this year we received many excellent applications, however we only had a limited number of blah blah blah." Finally you get to the soul crushing sentence "We regret to inform you..." Let's be honest, they feel no regret.
At this point you will pass through the 5 stages of funding rejection, here is what you can expect.
Stage 1: Anger
In an attempt to put the blame somewhere (other than on yourself for leaving your application tot he last minute), you will imagine the selcetion comittee gleefully tearing up your application for the one misplaced comma or period you did not see until months later. Try to remeber this picture is mostly innaccurate, I have heard the tearing up of applications is done in a very respectful manner. Avoid the urge to indulge your anger. Do NOT get drunk at this stage and make angry phone calls or e-mails to comittee members. Aside from screwing up your chances for next year, it is never easy to work in a department where the professor down the hall has a restraining order against you.
Stage 2: Anger
Your anger will now turn inward. At this stage you will ruminate over your faults and the shortcomings of your application. You will question your worth and future as an academic. At this stage, a little drinking is reccommended provided you are surrounded by people who have also just received funding letters of death. I suggest while drinking you throw around these vauge phrases of encouragement in an attempt to keep each other from dropping out:
-"Seriously, you're like the smartest person I know"
-"It's all rigged, you just got hosed"
-"It was robably some geographer/chemist/English Prof reading your paper who just didn't get it"
"I thought it was awesome when I read it"
Stage 3: Anger
At this stage your anger will turn back outward and be more vaguely directed at "the system", "the instiution" or (For Philosophy students)"the man." Resist fantasies of attempted revenge on system (you are not Brad Pitt/Edward Norton), institution or man and do not try to remove yourself from their sphere of influence. Instead, wait until you are tenured faculty, then write manifestos criticizing the system while you sit protected by the ivory towers comfortable walls.
Stage 4: Dejection
Rejection leads to dejection. By the time you reach this stage, you will likely have let enough work pile up that you can distract yourself from how lousy you feel by busting your ass to meet the deadline you forgot about.
Stage 5: Complacency
This point is only vaguely different than dejection and is reached when after burying yourself in your work you realise that you simply no longer care as you have comps or a thesis defence coming up. This is the graduate students homeostasis unil the next rejection letter. Enjoy your state of emotional coasting interupted by bouts of procrastination where for a short moment, you might feel something non-graduate students call...well, they don't really calll it anything, they are just thankful they aren't in school anymore and that they won't receive any more rejection letters!
Submitting your application was a weight off your shoulders and resulted in a rediscovery of restful sleep. you probably forgot all about your application until January with a very thin letter appeared in your mailbox. One page letters are never good. "Dear Applicant," you read, "this year we received many excellent applications, however we only had a limited number of blah blah blah." Finally you get to the soul crushing sentence "We regret to inform you..." Let's be honest, they feel no regret.
At this point you will pass through the 5 stages of funding rejection, here is what you can expect.
Stage 1: Anger
In an attempt to put the blame somewhere (other than on yourself for leaving your application tot he last minute), you will imagine the selcetion comittee gleefully tearing up your application for the one misplaced comma or period you did not see until months later. Try to remeber this picture is mostly innaccurate, I have heard the tearing up of applications is done in a very respectful manner. Avoid the urge to indulge your anger. Do NOT get drunk at this stage and make angry phone calls or e-mails to comittee members. Aside from screwing up your chances for next year, it is never easy to work in a department where the professor down the hall has a restraining order against you.
Stage 2: Anger
Your anger will now turn inward. At this stage you will ruminate over your faults and the shortcomings of your application. You will question your worth and future as an academic. At this stage, a little drinking is reccommended provided you are surrounded by people who have also just received funding letters of death. I suggest while drinking you throw around these vauge phrases of encouragement in an attempt to keep each other from dropping out:
-"Seriously, you're like the smartest person I know"
-"It's all rigged, you just got hosed"
-"It was robably some geographer/chemist/English Prof reading your paper who just didn't get it"
"I thought it was awesome when I read it"
Stage 3: Anger
At this stage your anger will turn back outward and be more vaguely directed at "the system", "the instiution" or (For Philosophy students)"the man." Resist fantasies of attempted revenge on system (you are not Brad Pitt/Edward Norton), institution or man and do not try to remove yourself from their sphere of influence. Instead, wait until you are tenured faculty, then write manifestos criticizing the system while you sit protected by the ivory towers comfortable walls.
Stage 4: Dejection
Rejection leads to dejection. By the time you reach this stage, you will likely have let enough work pile up that you can distract yourself from how lousy you feel by busting your ass to meet the deadline you forgot about.
Stage 5: Complacency
This point is only vaguely different than dejection and is reached when after burying yourself in your work you realise that you simply no longer care as you have comps or a thesis defence coming up. This is the graduate students homeostasis unil the next rejection letter. Enjoy your state of emotional coasting interupted by bouts of procrastination where for a short moment, you might feel something non-graduate students call...well, they don't really calll it anything, they are just thankful they aren't in school anymore and that they won't receive any more rejection letters!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Landmarks
There are two types of landmarks in Academics real and arbitrary.
There is only one real landmark and that is the final acceptance of your thesis into the library archives where it will never see the light of day again.
Meaningless landmarks are things other acadmics make you do because they had to do them. If you apply for a job as a professor, no one will ever even ask if you did comprehensive exams, what graduate courses you took or even if you got slaughtered in your defence. In reality, these are all hazing procedures to see if you are tough enough for the cuthroat world of academics.
On the plus side, arbitrary landmarks result in unprecedented spurts in productivity. Would we ever really do work if we didn't know that there was a giant deadline hanging over our sorry little heads? I sure wouldn't. While the productivity does seem to cluster around these deadlines, they are nonetheless examples of the endurances to which we can push the human body and still produce something moderately intelligent.
The trick is to not convince yourself of the meaninglessness of all the other landmarks. If you recognise these for what they really are, things that make sure you actually get a little work done each year so the dean doesn't have to kick you out, then you will likely become cynical with the system and get nothing done, instead of your usual almost nothing.
I prefer to take the time honoured route of denial. My next arbitrary deadline is at the beginning of April, I will promise not to procrastinate this time or put things off and do a little work every day. And as that resolve dies a slow death by distraction, boredom and youtube, I will just accept that I am a creature of habit and prepare myself for another test of extreme endurance in March.
There is only one real landmark and that is the final acceptance of your thesis into the library archives where it will never see the light of day again.
Meaningless landmarks are things other acadmics make you do because they had to do them. If you apply for a job as a professor, no one will ever even ask if you did comprehensive exams, what graduate courses you took or even if you got slaughtered in your defence. In reality, these are all hazing procedures to see if you are tough enough for the cuthroat world of academics.
On the plus side, arbitrary landmarks result in unprecedented spurts in productivity. Would we ever really do work if we didn't know that there was a giant deadline hanging over our sorry little heads? I sure wouldn't. While the productivity does seem to cluster around these deadlines, they are nonetheless examples of the endurances to which we can push the human body and still produce something moderately intelligent.
The trick is to not convince yourself of the meaninglessness of all the other landmarks. If you recognise these for what they really are, things that make sure you actually get a little work done each year so the dean doesn't have to kick you out, then you will likely become cynical with the system and get nothing done, instead of your usual almost nothing.
I prefer to take the time honoured route of denial. My next arbitrary deadline is at the beginning of April, I will promise not to procrastinate this time or put things off and do a little work every day. And as that resolve dies a slow death by distraction, boredom and youtube, I will just accept that I am a creature of habit and prepare myself for another test of extreme endurance in March.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Academic Bad Habits
I have a bad habit, and I have noticed that my grad school friends have it too.
As soon as I walk into someone's house for the first time, I make a beeline for their bookcase. I go through it meticulously, I look for what books and theemes we have in common, and I will grab any title that peaks my interest off the shelf without even asking.
I thought I was alone in this until a few of my friends came to my place for the first time. within minutes my shelf had been picked over and I became the Shelly public library.
I guess I could have worse habits. I do leave my friends medicine cabinets alone, And I rarely go into an underwear drawer without permission. I for one, know I am flattered when a friend looks over my bookshelf approvingly, I doubt they would feel the same way about their underwear.
As soon as I walk into someone's house for the first time, I make a beeline for their bookcase. I go through it meticulously, I look for what books and theemes we have in common, and I will grab any title that peaks my interest off the shelf without even asking.
I thought I was alone in this until a few of my friends came to my place for the first time. within minutes my shelf had been picked over and I became the Shelly public library.
I guess I could have worse habits. I do leave my friends medicine cabinets alone, And I rarely go into an underwear drawer without permission. I for one, know I am flattered when a friend looks over my bookshelf approvingly, I doubt they would feel the same way about their underwear.
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